The Bondi Psychologist

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Your Psychologist in Bondi

Individual & couples’ therapy in Sydney’s Eastern suburbs

 

Tel: 02 9290 8520
Email: info[AT]bondipsych.com.au

25% off your first therapy session when you book by 28 Feb, 2018.  BOOK HERE.

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Surviving In-Laws in Holiday Season

14 December, 2017 by Rachael Walden Leave a Comment

Surviving in-laws in holiday season

The holiday season is a wonderful time for catching up with family. You might even stay with them or they may stay with you.

This can be a welcome visit, especially if it is your own family. But what about when it’s your partner’s family? Is it fun or a chore? An enjoyable time or a time fraught with passive-aggressive tactics and criticism?

 

Holidays with in-laws can be challenging

 

Whether you are visiting your in-laws or they are coming to you, holiday season can be a tough time. The visit might involve significant travel and this can mean a longer stay, adding to the challenge.

While not all of use find our in-laws hostile or unwelcoming, there can still be challenges in accepting the differences in how other families do things. Maybe your partner “changes” when their parents are around. Perhaps it is just difficult to share space at close quarters.

If you’re a little on edge about spending time with your partner’s family (or even dreading the experience), there are some things that can make the holidays easier and more enjoyable.

 

8 top tips for surviving in-laws in holiday season

 

  1. Outings: Plan some things to do so that you are all out of the house and busy. Does your family all enjoy a type of music? Arrange to go to a concert. Perhaps your in-laws can attend your child’s end-of-year play or recital. Alternatively, plan a meal at a favourite restaurant.

 

  1. Planned Meals: Having a meal plan can take out some of the stress of deciding what to eat each evening. It will give your visitors a chance to offer suggestions, take you out for a meal, or even cook for you. If you are the guest, find out when might be a good night for you to contribute to meals in some way.

 

  1. Time Apart: My parents always say that guests are like a bag of prawns – after three days they are awful! It is a joke but there is certainly some truth to the time frame. Lengthy visits might be unavoidable, so make sure that you have some time apart, whether you are the guest or the host. This will help keep time together fresh and of greater quality.

 

  1. Allow for Routines: No matter who is staying with my family, I stick to my daily dog walk and Pilates classes. This means I get some time out, but it also means I still keep to my own values about being a pet owner and about health. If you are the guest, encourage your hosts to keep to their daily rituals and assure them that you will be fine whilst they are busy.

 

Okay, so these seem pretty simple. But what about more difficult in-law relationships? Do you have a hyper-critical mother-in-law or a know-all father-in-law? Is someone in your partner’s family racist?

We are all very different from one another, and accepting these differences is more difficult when we are in close quarters for a period of time.

To manage the less-smooth relationships, try these tips:

 

  1. Stay Hydrated: Drinking plenty of water means you can handle more stressors and therefore you will be more tolerant of others.

 

  1. Avoid Too Much Alcohol: Alcohol is a disinhibitor. This means it removes your judgement ability. You may be more reactive than when you are sober, and more likely to get into a tussle.

 

  1. Remember Your Values: Think about what kind of person you want to be. How would you like people to describe you? Use this as your guide when dealing with criticism or rudeness from your partner’s family. This way, you can avoid an awful situation such as an argument, and will feel good for how you behaved (even if the other person was appalling). Essentially, walk the high road and let comments/judgements/opinions pass.

 

  1. Establish Boundaries: If you don’t want Granddad offering your teenage son a beer (“It’s good for him”) (!), if your partner’s sister likes to give your toddler loads of lollies (“Because it is funny to watch them get hyperactive”) (!), then ask your partner to have a quiet word with their family member to convey that message. Head potential problems off early and you can avoid a lot of distress later. It’s likely your in-laws will know the message comes from you, but it is best delivered by “one of their own”. Then they are more likely to take it seriously, rather than dismissing it as one of your “oddities”.

 

It’s imperative that you feel that your partner has your back when you are with their family. Be sure to have a conversation with your partner well in advance of any visit to address any concerns you have.

Surviving in-laws in holiday season comes down to preparation, communication, patience, compassion and forgiveness. A sense of humour helps things along too.

 

What are your tips for surviving a visit from the in-laws during holiday season?

 

 

Filed Under: Mental Health, Psychologist Bondi Tagged With: Bondi Therapist, Counselling Bondi, Health and Wellness, Mental Health, Technology and Mental Health

The No Regrets Holiday Season

8 December, 2017 by Rachael Walden Leave a Comment

Tips for a no regrets holiday season from The Bondi Psychologist

When does your holiday season begin? Christmas and New Year are fast approaching. But some of us have been in celebration mode since spring!

For many Australians, holiday season officially starts with the Spring Racing Carnival. For others, holiday season kicks in anytime after Sydney’s City to Surf fun run. If you work a lot or you’re a parent of school-aged kids, the Christmas break might be your first chance of the year to kick back and let loose.

Whenever it commences for you, it is wise to prepare for a no regrets holiday season.

I don’t mean filling your social calendar and workshopping outfits. The no regrets holiday season means planning for how you want to be during all of these social engagements.

How much do you want to drink? Who do you want to socialise with? Who do you hope to meet? How will you balance your day-to-day life commitments and healthy habits with the increase in nights out?

 

Planning is the Key to a No Regrets Holiday Season

Planning is crucial for getting through the hectic holiday season feeling well, happy and refreshed, rather than finding yourself in January feeling burnt out, overindulged, and in need of a Feb-Fast. If you can enter the silly season with a dose of balance, you won’t need a month of fasting to make up for your holiday indulgences.

So how do you do this? How do you get through a time when alcohol is often flowing, you are tired from gift shopping, work deadlines, and going out the night before… and a drink seems like a welcome salvation?

 

Eating and Drinking with No Regrets this Holiday Season

 

Alcohol – Set Your “Sensible Self” Limit

Well, you can still accept the alcoholic beverage, but do so only when you have had a few litres (yes, plural) of water, and at least two meals or a meal and a snack if it is a pre-lunch function.

Be honest with yourself about how thirsty you are before you take the drink.  When we are thirsty we tend to gulp down our drinks, which can be dangerous when those drinks contain alcohol.

It is challenging to deny another glass of alcohol after you have already had a few. I have a friend who says that the third glass is like crossing a bridge to “the other side” – having that third drink means she is no longer in control of her choices in the way she would like to be. So she stops at two, waits an hour or so, then has another, if she feels like it.

For each of us, our susceptibility to alcohol and drunkenness is different and is affected by our body size, what we have eaten and how recently, how tired we are and hormonal changes, among other variables. It is good to have a rule of thumb, like my friend who stops at two and reassesses, so that you know where your “sensible self” limit is and you can choose to remain on the right side of the “bridge”.

 

Food – Preload At Home

And then there’s the food. Party food tends to be calorie laden, fatty and fried, and goes down a treat!

If you are in control of your alcohol intake and have eaten well prior to commencing drinking, you are more likely to be in control of your food choices. You can have a party pie, but maybe 8 is too many.

It is harder to say no to these indulgent food choices when you are hungry or getting a little drunk. So before the party, eat a healthy meal or fill up on a protein shake, then monitor your drinking.

The no regrets holiday season means balance and preparation

No Regrets Christmas Day

What about Christmas Day? Do you overindulge so much you need to take a nap in the afternoon?

It’s actually okay if you do, but be sure that you are choosing this path, rather than it choosing you!

When you are not mindful of what you are drinking and eating, you will likely feel a loss of control. When you choose a “day off” from your normal diet, it feels like a treat and you can make this a guilt-free indulgence, as long as you have put in the good work beforehand.

BEFOREHAND is the key word here. If you indulge and then promise (to God, to yourself, the universe, Yoda) to be good afterwards, you might not actually do the detox/strict nutrition plan/rigorous workouts you halfheartedly commit to. But if you have earned the indulgence through a balanced approach in the lead-up to the celebration, you can enjoy it knowing you worked for it!

Christmas minus the guilt = bliss!!

 

No Regrets New Year Celebrations

New Year’s Eve may be fraught with the same issues of overindulgence and guilt. Or perhaps you are one of the people who loves the New Year’s Day festivals and concerts.

However you ring in the new year, plan your indulgence, give it a number (of alcoholic drinks, various foods etc) and stick to that figure.

Manage your food and drink intake in the days between Christmas and the new year (if there is leftover cake, can you offer it to a neighbour rather than eating it yourself?).

Try to group friends together to cut down on the number of get-togethers. The fewer events you attend, the fewer opportunities for eating and drinking too much (and you’ll have more time to set the balance right with healthy eating and extra exercise in between events).

 

Your Survival Plan for a No Regrets Holiday Season

So, to survive the silly season with a dose of not-so-silly balance and preparation, try these tips:

  1. Plan ahead. How many drinks will you have, what food will you eat and how much of it?
  2. Earn the indulgence. On non-celebratory days, keep to your balanced diet and don’t drink alcohol. These are great days to fit in extra exercise.
  3. Get your shopping done early. Write a list, check it twice then hit the shops (or the computer) so you aren’t a worn-out, frazzled Grinch by Christmas day.
  4. Eat before going out. Sounds mad if it’s a food-based party, but a healthy meal or snack may stop you overdoing it at the buffet. A protein drink will also help.
  5. On your at-home evenings, get to bed early so that the late nights aren’t so difficult to recover from and so you can still exercise most of the days.
  6. Water water everywhere – every chance you get, drink a glass of water.
  7. Even a walk in the sunshine will allow you to recharge and will also burn some calories – exercise doesn’t have to be a belter every day.

Use these tips to create your own survival guide for the silly season. A no regrets holiday season is totally possible when you plan ahead, stay mindful and stick to the limits you give yourself.

All the best for a healthy, joyful Christmas and new year from all of us at The Bondi Psychologist.

 

What’s on your silly season survival guide? Comment below and let us know your tips and tricks for staying sane and well at this time of year.

 

Want to start the new year with a fresh outlook? Now is the perfect time to book your first therapy session at our beautiful Bondi clinic. Until 28 February 2018, new clients get 25% off your first appointment.

Filed Under: Health and Wellness Tagged With: Bondi Therapist, Counselling Bondi, Health and Wellness, Psychologist Bondi, Psychology Bondi

25% Off Your First Therapy Session At The Bondi Psychologist

6 December, 2017 by Rachael Walden Leave a Comment

Discount psychologist Bondi

 

It can be difficult to find an affordable Psychologist in Bondi or anywhere in Sydney. At The Bondi Psychologist, we know that therapy fees can be a barrier for getting started with counselling.

We also know that while Christmas, New Year and silly season are promoted as a time of joy and celebration, for some it’s the toughest time of year.

It’s not always easy dealing with family. The pressure of gift-giving and shopping can be overwhelming. Most of us spend way too much and end up panicked about finances.

And of course, new year spins around before you know it. You wanted to have a plan for starting your new year refreshed and on top of things. You were determined to find the time to reset and renew.

The reality? New year’s resolutions out the window. Plummeting health from over-indulging. A depleted bank account. And pure panic that the wheels are in motion for yet another year of wondering when you’ll have time for self-improvement.

 

Book Your First Appointment Now and Get Ahead for 2018

 

That’s why we are offering you 25% off your first therapy appointment in Bondi when you book by February 28, 2018. It’s that little extra push you need to get started on your new life this new year.

At our psychology clinic in Bondi, our qualified Psychologists offer:

  • Individual therapy
  • Couples’/relationship therapy and marriage counselling
  • Adolescent therapy
  • Weight loss therapy
  • PTSD and trauma therapy.

Our therapists are compassionate, discreet and highly skilled. We offer counselling in our Bondi clinic and online via Skype.

 

How to Take Advantage of This Offer

 

Read about The Bondi Psychologist therapists, and use the contact form on your chosen Psychologist’s info page to contact them and make your booking.

Alternatively, contact us on 02 9290 8520.

Mention this offer when you book your appointment and we will take 25% off your first booking fee.

We look forward to seeing you soon and helping you unlock the life you want.

Filed Under: ACT Therapy, Adolescent Therapy, Couples Counselling, EMDR Therapy, Gottman Method of Relationship Therapy, Health and Wellness, Individual Therapy, Marriage Counselling, Mental Health, Psychologist Bondi, PTSD Therapy, Weight Loss Therapy Tagged With: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Adolescent Psychology, Bondi Therapist, Counselling Bondi, Couples Counselling, Marriage Counselling, Mental Health, Psychologist Bondi, Psychology Bondi, Relationship Therapy, Weight Loss Therapy

Do We Need a Digital Detox or A Balanced Diet?

17 November, 2017 by Rachael Walden Leave a Comment

Is a digital detox necessary?

In honour of the Australian Psychological Society’s Psychology Week and the theme of thriving in the digital age, I wanted to write about ways to put some boundaries around use of mobile phones, while also celebrating these amazing devices.

 

Is a complete digital detox necessary?

A mobile phone can be a fantastic life assistant. Personally, I use mine to keep in touch with clients when I am out of the office, to manage bank accounts, book my fitness sessions, as my alarm clock, my weather reporter and my mindfulness guru.

I have apps to keep me up to date with what is happening at my kids’ school, the latest mental health drugs, help me learn a new language, and even to order my coffee for my morning walk by the beach!

My travel itinerary is always stored on my phone, I can check transport timetables and book taxis and Ubers, I can use my phone as a remote for my TV, and to play music.

Of course, I also use it to talk to friends and family and to take photos of my day.

These devices really are amazing. No wonder we have trouble putting them down!

So, do we need a digital detox?

 

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Health and Wellness, Mental Health Tagged With: Bondi Therapist, Evening Routine, Psychology Bondi, Technology and Mental Health, Wellbeing

How To Support Your Teen After Final Exams

3 November, 2017 by Rachael Walden Leave a Comment

How to support your teen after final exams

Exam time is full of stress and anxiety.

All parents and carers of teens are aware of this and many implement stress-busting habits and supportive nutrition to minimise the suffering (for both the teen and the adult!).

But what happens post-exam, after the hype, when the hoopla is over?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Adolescent Therapy, Parenting Tagged With: Adolescent Psychology, Bondi Therapist, Counselling Bondi, Parenting, Psychology Bondi, Teenagers

What Are Your Values? How to Live with Purpose

28 September, 2017 by Rachael Walden Leave a Comment

A common complaint of clients in my practice is that they feel “lost.”

They have no direction, or don’t know what they want in life (other than a vague desire to be “happy”).

Some are having a huge struggle with making an important life decision, others just feel a sense of “meh” about their life – they experience neither joy nor deep sorrow. They’re flatlining emotionally.

It’s a really horrible state to be in and it is distressing for many.

What are your values? How to live with purpose.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: ACT Therapy, Individual Therapy, Mental Health Tagged With: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Bondi Therapist, Counselling Bondi, Mental Health, Psychologist Bondi, Psychology Bondi

How to Stop Having the Same Fight Over and Over

21 September, 2017 by Rachael Walden Leave a Comment

In most relationships, at some point, there are disagreements. This is true for marriages and romantic relationships, friendships, siblings, parents, offspring, and work colleagues among others.

These disagreements are part of life and they don’t have to be a big deal. But they can become a huge problem if you and someone in your life keep having the same fight over and over.

Frustration ensues, leaving you both feeling hurt, unheard and raw. It can make you want to avoid the issue, leading to even more frustration and hurt, and the issue grows bigger and bigger.

Having the same fight over and over

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Couples Counselling, Marriage Counselling, Mental Health, Parenting Tagged With: Bondi Therapist, Couples Counselling, Marriage Counselling, Parenting, Psychology Bondi, Relationship Therapy, Teenagers

Your Bedtime Ritual – How to Wind Down and Sleep Well

28 June, 2017 by Rachael Walden Leave a Comment

When clients first come to see me for counselling at my practice, I always ask, “What is your bedtime ritual? What do you do to get ready for bed?”

Some are a little alarmed and others have a little bit of a routine, but most could improve on their bedtime ritual.

Your bedtime ritual is important as it signals to your brain that it is time to slow it all down and get ready for shutting off for the evening. This means that when you get in to bed, you’re not still “wired” and ready to go, feeling all antsy and agitated.

Everyone is different in what they like to do before bedtime. Certainly in places where there are definitive seasons, a summer ritual may be quite different to a winter ritual. There is no one way to do your bedtime ritual but I am going to list a few tried and true activities that can be incorporated as you like.

Your bedtime ritual to sleep well and wake rested.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Health and Wellness Tagged With: Bondi Therapist, Evening Routine, Health and Wellness, Psychology Bondi, Rest, Sleep, Wellbeing

How to Keep Your Teen Talking

14 June, 2017 by Rachael Walden Leave a Comment

As your darling child chatterbox moves into the adolescent phase of development, you might notice a significant decline in the number of syllables they utter. Grunting seems to answer all manner of questions from “How was your day?” to “Would you like pizza tonight?”.

It’s natural to feel anxious about this, especially as the change can seem to have happened overnight (similar to the suddenly-grown-out-of-all-clothing phenomenon). It’s hard to get used to and can be isolating for an otherwise involved parent. You may end up desperately Googling for advice on how to keep your teen talking because you feel like they are drifting away and you want to keep them close.

Take heart. Your once-talkative, funny, noisy little person will return – though somewhat more mature – but for now they are figuring themselves out and want to do this alone (or at least, without adult involvement). Adolescence is a time for individuating, where they start to test their own (and maybe yours, your extended family’s, the school’s) boundaries. It is an important process and this is what allows our kids to develop into autonomous adults (eventually).

how to keep your teen talking

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: Bondi Therapist, Parenting, Psychology Bondi, Teenagers

From Negative to Positive – Small Acts to Turn Your Relationship Around

17 May, 2017 by Rachael Walden Leave a Comment

When a relationship is off track and neither of you are particularly pleased with your partnership, it can feel scary. Though you want to “work” at it and get back the loving affection you once had, it may seem like a daunting task.

Take heart. Research indicates that doing frequent small acts to turn your relationship around can change an overly negative relationship into a predominantly positive one.  If you don’t believe me, you and your partner can test out some of the following suggestions.

Small acts to turn your relationship from negative to positive [Read more…]

Filed Under: Couples Counselling, Marriage Counselling Tagged With: Bondi Therapist, Marriage Counselling, Psychology Bondi, Relationship Therapy

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From the Blog

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  • Adolescent Therapy
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  • Psychologist Bondi
  • PTSD Therapy
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Rachael Walden is a member of the APS

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Contact Rachael Walden

The Bondi Psychologist is located at
Shop 2, 66 Hall Street
Bondi Beach NSW 2026

Tel: 02 9290 8520
Email: info[AT]bondipsych.com.au

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