Marriage problems, and problems within long-term romantic partnerships, are normal. Every couple experiences their challenges.
If you can show me a couple with no problems at all, I’ll point out that the apparent absence of conflict may be a problem in itself!
Marriage Problems Can Often Be Resolved
So not all marriage problems point to a relationship that’s “on the rocks”. Very happily married or committed couples have problems too – they’ve just found a way to remain loving in the face of challenges.
Perpetual Vs Resolvable Marriage Problems
No matter who you choose for a romantic partner, when you unite, you are signing up for a particular set of problems. Some can be resolved. Others are perpetual.
Perpetual or unsolvable problems are the ones that recur. You find yourself having the same debate or conversation on repeat, and it never seems to resolve.
This is ok. Just like the ailments that arise as we age, like poor eyesight or hearing or aching joints, you learn to live with it.
The Balm of Humour
One of the best ways to defuse tension around an irresolvable problem is to have a sense of humour about it. Your husband may leave the toilet seat up on a regular basis, or your wife may avoid visits with your mother. But if you can laugh about it together as “just one of those things that will never change”, your marriage is likely a strong and healthy one.